Dibs

Khuda Hafiz,

As one of my longest and most influential obsession, I believe it’s a good time to have a post on Bollywood. This obsession first reached its dizzying heights in Melbourne circa 2005. Abundant time, lack of any real after campus activities and just basically the freedom to do anything I want, has made this obsession flourish like none other obsession ever flourished before. Am I making sense?

So what brought about this obsession for one of the largest cinema in the world and yet the most ridiculously underrated? Well, I fancy myself as being a cinema student in my Uni days. I was actually obsessed with Hong Kong Cinema at first. I was one of those alternative cinema snobs. The fact that I watched, analyzed and pretended to understood Wong Kar Wai films made me feel ultra cool. Ironically, it was actually my Chinese roommate who properly introduced me to Bollywood. Hailing from a country where Bollywood films are a mid day TV filler mainly watched by housemaids, I was familiar yet ignorant of this ‘niche mainstream’ cinema (explanation on that term later on). I was familiar with a few staple names such as Amitabh Bachchan (who I thought was a girl for quite sometimes… Mujhe maaf kardo Amitabh-ji) and Shahrukh Khan. The latter, was (in my naïve untrained eyes) that brown floppy haired slightly chubby dude who was wooing an equally chubby girl in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge DVD that my roommate rented.

DDLJ, The longest running Bollywood film

My first impression was hardly magical. It was cringe worthy actually. Being used to the slick and somber moods of Wong Kar Wai cinema, I was truly shocked by the over the top histrionics of this film. It was not until Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, a film that my roommate also rented and decided to watch the next night that I was hooked. Hooked like a fish on bait. That movie, directed by the all mighty Karan Johar, is unlike anything I’ve seen before. It was over the top in its mise en scene, over the top in its actor’s performances, it had plot loopholes as big as Texas and yet… endearing. Karan Johar is strangely ‘aeuturish’. A trait that I love so much about Wong Kar Wai films. There was so much of Karan in K3G that I wonder if he is actually, being an only child, always longs for a ‘bhaiyya’ type of role model like Rahul-Shahrukh Khan persona. The use of a casting couch and his rotation of character’s name (Rahul, Anjali, Aman, Naina…) for his films are eerily very Wong Kar Wai-ish. Even the whole theme of an estranged son in a foreign country are very ‘in between’ ala Wong Kar Wai. I later found out that the Chinese and India Diaspora treat their HK cinema and Bollywood respectively, in a similar yet very different way. More on that later on. Ahead of myself as usual.

K3G star studded and multi-generation cast (L to R: Kajol, SRK, Jaya Bachchan, Amitabh Bachchan, Kareena Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan)

What also struck me was how well the movie was made in terms of sets, editing and just the whole film as a package. It was well thought of and well produced. My concept of Bollywood was that of the mid day fillers, tacky and garish looking. With all my obsessions, there has to be the ‘pied piper’ factor. For HK and Asian cinema it was the likes of drool worthy Takeshi Kaneshiro, Takuya Kimura, Vic Chou and the likes. For Bollywood it was and always will be Shahrukh Khan. An unlikely pied piper. I was ready to succumb to the hunky Hrithik Roshan as my pied piper. Being more conventionally good looking with that body and those eyes. But, unconsciously my state of mind and being were already Bollywood-ise. Of course it would be K3G’s Rahul that became my ultimate Bollywood guide.

In Bollywood characterization and who the audience sympathizes with trumps looks any day. Rahul in K3G is a momma’s boy, a family man, an Indian with Indian conventional values and yet strangely progressive.  I came to realize much later that the Rahul character is a character of the new Bollywood era conceived mainly by Aditya Chopra (who directed the legendary DDLJ, the film I appreciated in much later part of my obsession), reinforced by Karan Johar and acted and embodied by Shahrukh Khan. Shahrukh Khan’s many avatars (most memorably will be called either Raj or Rahul) are strangely fascinating. Cringe worthy for those untrained Bollywood viewers.  Not good looking in the conventional way at all, Shahrukh Khan is now the biggest India heartthrob. He has the Raj- Rahul characters to thank. The character is over the top in his charm and wit. Comedic at times and melodramatic most of the time. This is a character that gets the girl, gets her mother, triumphs over her father’s opposition (or any opposition) and stays rich (or at least well to do) throughout the film. He is also the biggest endorser of Indian culture all the while, comfortably and unapologetically westernized in terms of clothes and attitude.  He is not afraid to cry, do back flips in the name of love and will always regard the heroine’s virtue. For me, being overly saturated in stoic male characters in both Hollywood and HK Cinema, found this sissy (by western standards) singing and dancing hero such a whiff of fresh air. This is a man who is endearing in his over the top-ness and strangely sensual in his over dramatization.

My Pied Piper, Shahrukh Khan aka. King Khan

As I recently concluded, not only some Bollywood directors are aeuturish, actors are too. And SRK (Shah Rukh  Khan) with his Rajs and Rahuls in many of his films have defined what a Bollywood hero should be. I will try and not put on my SRK fan hat to write about Bollywood. As you can tell my pied piper remains a big part of this obsession. And I must admit, most Bollywood films I’ve seen are his. Because in my personal opinion, Bollywood today starts and end with King Khan. Only his films (And a few selected others such as “3 Idiots”) are worthy of such discussion and adoration. His films are usually the most critically acclaimed and blockbusters. It also helps that the directors who he creates magic with are young and often progressive Bollywood film makers.  Thus if this post is about my obsession with Bollywood, then a line or two on how intriguing SRK and his star status comes with the territory.

What else attracts me to firstly K3G as my first movie and then Bollywood? Being a very outspoken lover of the musical genre I guess my next elaboration is obvious. There is no better way to express and emotion, mark an important event in a film or just giving the audience a break from all the action than with a song and dance sequence. And in Bollywood, they take their musical sequences seriously. In a production as big as K3G, often you will be entertained not only by the main cast but also hundreds of back up dancers in lavishly built sets or exotic places as backgrounds. Different from its Hollywood counterpart, the unique convention of Bollywood, which prompts you to suspend your disbelief more than you would with other cinema, allows for what I like to call ‘the bollywood musical convention”. More often than not, this musical sequences breaks the third wall of the film. It departs from the existing mise en scene to a whole other world which mirrors the emotions of what the character is going through at that moment or completely ignores it. For an untrained Bollywood viewer, this is a cringe worthy moment (cringe worthy and Bollywood goes hand in hand in a good way after a while).

Karan Johar, Genius

That is why, for a Bollywood beginner, Karan Johar films such as K3G and Kal Ho Na Ho are perfect. I’d like to think I know what goes on in the mind of KJ, or at least I’d like to think so. I’d like to believe that like myself, Karan had also watched the great Hollywood musicals such as The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins and many of the cartoons from the Disney Renaissance. And from those films, he got the idea that musicals can exist to progress the plot, break the plot and go all out third wall or it can become a wonderful combination of both. This combination reduces the cringe worthy moment apparent in many other Bollywood films. At least it did that for me. With numbers  such as “Yed Ladka hai Allah” and “Shava Shava” which are weaved in so beautifully to continue the plot, KJ effortlessly suspend my attention in “Suraj Hua Maddam” where the plot stood absolutely still.  In “Bole Chudiyan” the plot seems to move on and stopped dead in its tracks by a dream sequence right in the midst of the singing and dancing. Brilliant! And after a while, I accepted the ‘Bollywood musical convention” with ease. I am able to recognize which is which, which is a combination. I am now obsessed with item numbers which are another level of the viewer’s suspension of disbelief.  But that is another post altogether.

Passion epitomized in Suraj Hua Madham

Speaking of suspension of disbelief and the Bollywood musical convention, I do believe you have all heard of playback singers? Bollywood prides itself (or sometimes embarrassed by this fact) that it is (And hopefully will always will be) a pure escapist cinema. Another aspect of why I love this cinema so much. I believe films are entertaining for a reason. They should always be able to entice your imagination. Give you a sense of relief from the nasty realities of the real world. Some films like “Swades” have tried to take this belief away from me, but being a non Indian, I still think watching another culture is a form of escapism so that’s still acceptable. Oops got ahead of myself yet again. Play back singers. Right.  Except for an exclusive few (Including SRK who sang for his character in “Josh”), actors and actresses are masters lip sync-ers.  While the west say nay to lip sync Bollywood say “Acha!” The reason being extremely logical. What would sell more? A pretty face? A pretty voice? Or a pretty face singing with a pretty voice?  Thus the likes of Sonu Nigam, Udit Narayan and Kumar Sanu lend their voice to SRK’s characters.  Most recently, R&B singer Akon, contributes to two songs for SRK’s home production film Ra One. His amazing pronunciations of Hindi words in the songs are praise worthy. And yet the picturization done by SRK and Kareena Kapoor of Akon songs are what sells for the Bollywood aficionados like myself. Like Udit, Sonu and Kumar before Akon, their voices are those of SRK’s character on screen, never the other way around. For the duration of the film (and many clip viewings later) I believe that it is SRK’s own singing voice.

As for the ladies, I can’t quite say the same. Female singing voices are generically high pitched. With a few exceptions of a few modern songs in current films. It seems that all heroines are required to have that high sweet maiden singing voice. Even with an actress with a voice as deep as Rani Mukerji’s, the sweet (high of course) voice of Alka Yagnik sings for her. I haven’t done enough research to find out why this is so. But male actors also share playback singers. So theoretically SRK and Salman Khan has an identical singing voice when both lip sync to Udit Narayan. But I do (and most Bollywood viewers) must suspend their disbelief more in terms of female playback singers. And after a while , it is considered an anomaly for me when a female playback singer doesn’t not have that characteristic high pitch.

SRK in Bole Chudiyan

Whew! This is definitely a big enough obsession to worthy such a long post. Let me try and upload this one with pics and then continue okay… Namaste…  

It hit me like thunder on a sunny day. Thanks to that Private Practice episode. A mother of a 7 year old boy refuses to throw anything away. She believes that she is keeping memorable keepsakes for her son. Piles and piles of junk stuff accumulates inside her house. Making her house a safety and health hazard for her and her son. I’m not going into the details of the episode. I’m not too fond of Private Practice anyway. But what the psychiatrist (The brunette who was raped two seasons ago I think) said about the mother’s condition really hit home. She refuses to throw away anything because unconsciously she is trying to fill an emotional void in her life. This analysis is proven when apparently the mother lost a daughter and got divorced (or the husband also died, or something of the sort). Ding ding ding! The alarm in my head went off. Fill a void eh? Sounds eerily familiar. Am i guilty of trying to fill my emotional void by shopping too much?

And as it usually happens, my defense mode kicked in although fully aware that I would rebuff myself afterwards (does this make sense?). It went in my head like this. 

Defense Adiba: “I shop because I’m passionate about fashion”

Rebuff Adiba: “No, you shop because you like having brand new spanking things so you will feel better about yourself. You know something to get through the day. Your day sucks. But at least you look nice”. 

Defense Adiba: “I shop because I need to reward myself”

Rebuff Adiba: “You set your goals to low. If you keep going, you will decide to reward yourself just because you got out of bed”. 

Defense Adiba: “I don’t shop everyday…”

Rebuff Adiba: “Just when you are bored, in a bad mood or need a pick me up. Which, these days, means every two days…”

Defense Adiba: “Fashion is my passion. I shop what I need. Good quality stuff. Stuff that supports my career. And I don’t accumulate them. I wear them”. 

Rebuff Adiba: “I’ve lost count on all the stuff that you buy that you wear only one time or sometimes you never wear them at all. Too big, too small, too ugly. And don’t get me started on the stuff that you save to wear for special occasions (translation: expensive stuff), but really you are scared to wear them because of you ruined them, you will feel like crap. Which triggers another shopping spree to ‘replace’ the damaged goods”. 

Just writing about this hurts my head. I do have a problem. Suddenly I remember that line from that movie Confessions of A Shopaholic.    

“When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.”

It didn’t ring as true the first time I heard it, but now… Seriously, as hard as it is to admit, I really feel that way. I realize that maybe, just maybe, and unconsciously, I’ve been trying to suppress my disappointment, fears and stress (which is my emotional void) of current and ongoing events in my life by shopping. I’m an addict. That thrill of purchasing and parading something coveted and brand new is my high. All is well in the world. And once the novelty ends, I must get another dose or sink in to a bottomless pit of depression. 

You know what they say, the first step in getting over an addiction is admitting you have a problem. Well this my confession. I have a problem. It’s beginning to be too much for me in this big bad world and situations of my own makings. Sigh… 

Now the tricky part is how to find a cure. The answer lies in the obvious. If my problems and anxieties would go away then I won’t need to shop. D’oh!

Until that happens, I wonder how high and how long the buzz would stay if I buy myself one of these babies: 

Yes yes I know, this kind of post belongs in Twitter. You know the “I’m so angry at he/she/they/world that I want everyone to know - and yet it will be vague and whoever he/she/they/world will be anonymous.” If Twitter is a human being, I’m sure It’s had enough. But hey Twitter is a social media and whoever invented it would probably know that these kind of self centered media (Sharing what you’re doing and thinking at all times—-> Self Centered) is ridden with those kind of post that I’ve elaborated. And Tumblr is one of those medias. Yay! So I hereby post my first “sampah” or trash post Tumblr post. and believe me it’s no the last. For more of my ‘sampah’ please follow me on Twitter. “Mari nyampah” (Literally means “let’s dispose some trash”.

“I’m doing my best not to grow up like you. No matter how successful and self established you are, I don’t want to adopt your way of thinking. To me, the way you approach matters are unsophisticated and childish. Maybe I’m being ungrateful and a tad bit over dramatic. But in all seriousness, I know there is a better and more elegant ways to do things. That’s just me. Its sad that I will never look back on our relationship the way other people will look back on theirs. You were never and never will be the person that will fill that role. No matter how hard I try, my awe, adoration and love will never be dedicated to you. Its sad that at this age, in the position I’m in, I don’t think of you that way. I’m still hoping that something will change and I will be able to finally change my mind. But I’m not holding my breath and nor should you “

Again, I’m no painter. I’ve never studied the history of painting. But for some reason (translation: boredom), I seem to have developed a penchant for doing a bit of research (translation: Googling) on works of the great masters that I find interesting. The word ‘I’ being the operative word. Meaning, painting that interest me are usually those with an interesting story behind them. Whether it is a conspiracy theory, cue in Da Vinci’s Last Supper, or those who has a bit of trivia in them ala the paintings with pentimenti as discussed by me a few post earlier. 

This painting by Diego Velazquez circa 1656 which literally means ‘The Handmaidens’ miraculously has both. A story (not on a conspiracy level but interesting enough) and a bit of trivia. And the the best part is the trivia and the story is actually linked! 

Okay I’m excited.

Allow me to introduce Infanta Magarita Theresa of Spain. That’s the pretty girl who is the vocal point of this seemingly ordinary pic. She is painted not in a very formal setting, but as though in a candid fashion. There she is being very still amidst the movement of the handmaidens around her. Infanta Margarita was the favorite daughter of King Phillip IV of Spain. Her dowry given by her father for her marriage to Leopold I of Austria, was auctioned at Christie’s. The Wittelsbach Diamond is one of the few great Indian diamonds at par with the Kohinoor and the Hope Diamond. Christie’s sold the nearly 36-carat (7.2 g) diamond for $24.3 million, which it is the highest price paid for a diamond sold at an auction. Must be nice to daddy’s girl.

Back to the painting. During his time in the Spanish court, the painter Diego Velazquez did several pictures of the blond beauty during her childhood to teen years. The paintings were then sent to her much older fiancee, and uncle, Leopold (Holy Roman Emperor). Sort of like your olden day Facebook pics. Las Meninas is one of many. But because of its composition and the use of space and perspective, it is THE Velazquez painting of the Infanta that garnered such acclaim.

Ok, let me ask you this. How many people are in the painting? If you guessed nine then you might find this bit interesting. There are arguably 11 people in this painting? Check out this breakdown I found courtesy of Google.

Yep, amongst the painting hung in the backdrop, there is a distinctive light illuminating a framed figure of a man and a woman. That my friend, judging from how the light seems to be reflected in its blurry surface, is a mirror. A mirror which captures arguably King Phillip IV pf Spain and Queen Mariana of Austria. Infanta’s Margarita’s mom and Dad. The reflective surface of the mirror is intensified by the blurry effect caused by the open door held by a noble man (Thought to be the Queen’s Chamberlain).

Now it gets very interesting and in my opinion very cool. So, if the King and Queen is reflected in the mirror right behind the Infanta and her entourage, where are the King and Queen standing. Why, they must be standing where we, the audience/viewer, is standing. Told you it’s pretty cool. 

Thus this is what most analyst believe of what was going on in the painting narrative. Velazquez, who himself is portrayed holding paint and standing in front of the canvas, was commissioned to paint their majesties the king and queen. Velazquez at that time was appointed as court painter (like a private photographer). And he is painting the king and queen who are standing where the viewer is. The king and queen is probably standing just beside a window judging by the streaming light that illuminates the Infanta and her entourage and responsible for the clear view of the king and queen reflection on the mirror. The Infanta and her entourage are there to amuse the king and queen or perhaps just drop in on them on this painting session. A history trivia for you. Las Meninas is the only known painting which portrays both The king and queen together. That teeny tiny mirror reflection is the only time they Phillip IV and Mariana of Austria are ever in a canvas together. The picture painted of them on the canvas and reflected in the painting inside Las Meninas never existed in real life!

This is not the only theory or analysis of Las Meninas. Some debate that the reflection on the mirror is the reflection of Velazquez canvas. Others say that the mirror in the back is a random painting on the wall and that Velazquez is painting the Infanta Margarita.  However, I agree with the opinion that I’ve elaborated so far. I do believe that is is indeed a mirror and that Velasquez made the viewer is sort of  looking through the eyes of the king and queen.

Did Velazquez have a hidden agenda in making such a painting that features himself painting something that never he never got a chance to paint? . In my opinion Velasquez gave us/the viewer a glimpse of the dynamics of this royal family. Phillip IV and Mariana was married out of politics and comfort and not for love. And judging from the lack of paintings that show both of them, their marriage was not lovey dovey. This is argument is supported by the fact that the Infanta Margarita became their only child for quite sometime. No heir, no spare. Margarita’s male siblings died in boyhood and one of them was disabled and disfigured (inbreeding nuff said).

It could probably the case that angelic and perfect looking Infanta Margarita was their only common pride and joy. The only thing they could agree on. Phillip IV is known to treasure the Infanta Margarita. In letter he called her ‘my joy’. Velazquez would be aware of this. In a painting session where Phillip IV would have to sit quite, who better to help ease the boredom of posing for a painting than to have his daughter to come and play in the same room. Probably to coax some smile out of Queen Mariana who was known as a cold and hot tempered lady (I would also be hot tempered if I’m forced to marry my uncle, interbreeding was a big thing you see). And if the Spanish court was like the Tudor court to some extent, I’m sure their tense relationship would be well known. Its no wonder that Velazquez chose to portray them together with Infanta Margarita taking center stage in the canvas. Who knew that Velasquez could be so bored that he was commissioned again and again to paint the Infanta and decided to be cheeky and painted this meaningful portrait of the royal family. Sending subliminal messages to Leopold I that this kid you are engaged to is the only glue for this dysfunctional family. 

Phillip IV never wanted to pose for a painting in his old age, ever. Las Meninas is the only painting he agreed to be featured in such an old age. Being a king who is known for his patronage of the arts, maybe Phillip IV liked the message that Las Meninas is subtly giving out. Or it could be the Infanta herself shouting “Daddy… Daddy, lets do a painting together…”. Phillip IV relented but giving notes to Velasquez only to be minimally featured. 

There are other things you can discuss and analyze in this painting which now hangs at the Museo Del Prado in Madrid. If you are a painter I’m sure the technical stuff are as intriguing. As for me, different scenarios are running to my head on how exactly this painting came to be. What was its intention? Was it set realistically (with the King and Queen, Infanta, handmaidens actually posing for Velazquez specifically for Las Meninas)? Or did Velazquez paint this from imagination? What was the reaction of the people portrayed in this painting? Who did the dog belong to? So many questions.

After writing this long wended article, I realize that just maybe I can challenge myself to write a bit of fiction based on Las Meninas. Just so that the questions in my head will have definite albeit imaginary answers. Ooooh I love a good story. I just wish someone would be kind enough to download my mind and have it written down for me.

Please excuse my absence. Although since this Tumblr was made for the sole purpose of self indulgence and therefore is absent of any real readers (except for me, but I’m not delusional to think that ‘I’ count), I see no point in making empty excuses. And to my defense I have a draft or two that I never got a chance to publish. One was because of technical problems that didn’t allow a certain picture to be published. Technology and I are always at odds. And the other draft sounded so good in my head but was too much of a hassle to type. Ah well… No real readers anyway…

So… for those who knows me very well will know that I’m somewhat of a book geek. History geek. Trivia geek. Well allow me to elaborate on my (not so) current obsession. Why the brackets? Well, I’ve been obsessed with the life (and death) of Marie Antoinette and The last Grand Duchesses of Russia for quite sometime now. Circa junior high.  And now I’ve added the illustrious life and death of the wives of Henry VIII.

They are all in my head now. The young French queen and her magnificent palace with the amazing decor, the close knit sisters and their hemophillic brother and the man who beheads two of his wives, annulled the other two, outlived one wife and died before the last.

I blame my love of narrative and story telling for this morbid obsession (errm they all died, well most of Henry wives died of a tragic and bloody death. Keyword: Morbid). The Marie Antoinette fixation came from the Manga (Jap Comic) Rose of Versailles. In Rose, the brilliant Riyoko Ikeda romanticized the life of this young queen who lost her head to the guillotine in the beginning of the french Revolution. The Russian Imperial sisters became my darlings somewhere between my first viewing of Anatole Litvak’s Anastasia starring Yul Brenner and Inggrid Bergman and the cartoon Anastasia voiced by Meg Ryan. As for Henry and his not so merry wives, I have Phillipa Greggory to thank. If it wasn’t for her and the addictive “The Other Boleyn Girl” book, I would never know or care about the most sexually charged court in British history.

Of course like all (good) narrative/story, it is not always historically accurate. But I do believe, to get someone (especially someone as easily bored as me), the added razzle and dazzle of a semi factual historical novel/a novel based on history is needed to get the audience hooked. And after they are sublimely submerged in the world of these people living in a land far-far away and dead oh so long ago, will they summon the curiosity needed for further research. And its always fun for me to point out the differences between real facts and fiction added by the author. Sort of like an added trivia.

Sadly, as all my obsessions, they come and go as they please. And even more depressing, my obsession on these tragic figures kick in here in this wonderful country where books are scarce and libraries are far between. I so regret that my time in the western world did not make time for a trip down morbid history lane. Yes, I was too busy indulging my love of Bollywood back in the day. Sigh… A sales woman at a hip bookstore looked at me as if I’m crazy when I post this question. “Can you help me check whether or not you carry a book with the tittle “The Fate of the Romanovs?” She actually glanced at the mountainous pile of Twilight books and probably wished I wanted one those instead. Why not order them online? I’m also a very conventional book buyer. If I want a book, I want to pay cash and I want to read it NOW!!!! A 32 days wait? Payment by card… aaah let’s just exhaust the Google search shall we.

Thus my thirst for all things Marie, Romanov and Tudor remain unsatisfied.

The Romanov Imperial Children in happier times. Before that fateful night at Ekaterinburg where they were all shot and stabbed to death.

His Royal Studness, King Henry VIII. His 2nd wife, Anne Boleyn was played by Oscar winning actress Natalie Portman. She (Anne not Nat) was beheaded after being charged for incest with her brother as well as many other treason accusations.

The lovely Marie Antoinette, Queen of France. Come to think of it, I do have a book about her somewhere in my parents house. A book by Antonia Fraser. The same book that Sofia Coppola used as guide for her very pretty Marie movie which starred Kirsten Dunst. Pretty but not quite enough to satisfy the ultimate Marie fan.

Oh! I almost forgot! I was obsessed with Cleopatra for a while. And with the right nudge (translation: boredom) maybe I will revisit the sultry Queen of the Nile. I fell in love with her from that biography of hers that I bought in Egypt. 

Hey wait a minute, don’t I have a picture book of Versailles courtesy of my last visit there? Hmmm… Maybe it’s time to visit the dusty bookshelves of my parents house. Someday…

According to Wikipedia (Otherwise known as “Great Master of All Things I Need to Know”),  Pentimento is “an alteration in a painting, evidenced by traces of previous work, showing that the artist has changed his mind as to the composition during the process of painting. The word derives from the Italian pentirsi, meaning to repent.”

Madonna of The Rocks and The Arnolfini Portrait went through Pentimento when their painters (Da Vinci and Jan Van Eyck respectively) changed their mind somewhere in the middle of making their work of art. There is this technique with X ray and infra red that can see through the finished painting and reveal a previous layer of paint that differs from the finished work.

(The Arnolfini Portrait taken from Wikipedia)

Quoting from Wikipedia (Otherwise known as “All Knowing Mistress which Keeps Me Company in My Boredom”) once again, Pentimento “may show that a composition originally had an element, for example a head or a hand, in a slightly different place, or that an element no longer in the final painting was originally planned. The changes may have been done in the underdrawing of the painting, or by the visible layers of paint differing from the underdrawing, or by the first painted treatment of the element having been over-painted.”

I’m not a painter by any measure and yet I’m in love with this concept of Pentimento or Pentimenti in plural. In life, I tend to Pentimento-ed a gazillion times. Layering another action, reason or thought process over the previous one. Sometimes enhancing, other times contradicting my first. If I were to be X-Ray-ed ala the great paintings of the masters, then you could see the layers and layers of a head, maybe a hand, a different outfit or maybe even a different person altogether.

 Wikipedia (Otherwise known as ‘A very useful resource to kill boredom’) again elaborates that “Pentimenti are considered especially important when considering whether a particular painting is the prime version by the original artist, or a second version by the artist himself, or his workshop, or a later copyist.”

I so relate to that. I’m so easily swayed (translation: a pushover) that my Pentimento usually involves a lot of people opinions and thoughts. Then I began to ponder (cue thoughtful music), I guess in life, most of us if not all of us has experienced Pentimenti. How often does our original intent becomes our intended action without a few alterations here and there in the end? Sometimes or most of the time influenced by anything and everything around us. We constantly add, edit, erase consciously or unconsciously.

Lovely and enigmatic word to add to my dying vocab. Thank you O Thee Great Wikipedia of the Internet Universe. I bow to thee O Mighty One.

One of my fave bloggers whom I admire for not only her hijabify fashion sense (she wears the Muslim hijab and looks amay-zing!) but also for her thoughts on Islam. Her blog post dated January 28 2010 is one of my favorites. This is how I choose to live out my faith.

Check out her blog: shaelaiza.blogspot.com

Are You Really Religious or Do You Just Look The Part?

SubhanAllah… God really works in mysterious ways. I just found this video of Moez Masoud’s programme, Stairway to Paradise, and it explained everything I wanted to say in my recent post about my epiphany and reaching out to fellow Muslims the right way. Moez said that a lot of people are too focused on the outward results and actions that they forget the spiritual growth that requires these results to take place. He expressed that he was turned off by religion and Islam in the past because of such people. He was inspired to learn more about Islam after he met a person who embodied the faith. This person was a blind 19 year old who didn’t complain about being blind and was a humble follower of Islam.

That’s it, that’s exactly it. Islamic beliefs and teachings come to life when people start practicing it the way it is meant to be practiced - peacefully and genuinely. Da’wah isn’t just the spoken words that are used to preach others but also who you are as a person and how you incorporate Islam in your life.

Why can’t we approach people and advise them out of genuine love instead of in a patronising manner? How does it make you feel when someone speaks to you condescendingly? It certainly doesn’t make you believe in them or what they have to say, that’s for sure.

I’ll tell you a little story about one of my experiences wearing hijab when I was 16. It was my first year living in New Zealand and I was still getting to know people and I was also slowly settling down in a new city. My sister was a voluntary teacher for Sunday Islamic classes for children at the time and she told me about a class for teenage Muslim girls that were also held on Sundays at the mosque. So I decided to go because I was curious and I wanted to get to know the Muslim girls better. The class was held in the mosque library at the back of the mosque and there were 2 Muslim sisters in their mid-20’s teaching the class. At first the class went well and I was enjoying learning about the interpretation of the Qur’an by the 1st teacher, Sister M.

Then the 2nd teacher, Sister J, came in. She wore one of those huge hijabs that go right down to the waist. She saw me and suddenly shouted, “You!”. I looked around and it was obvious that she was looking at me so I said, “Yes??”. She replied in front of the entire class, “You’re not wearing proper hijab! Go inside the prayer area and get a prayer outfit then only come back in here.” I was stunned and speechless. Then after a few seconds I got up, left the room and looked for my sister who was also teaching in a different room at the time. She was surprised to see me and especially so after I started bawling my eyes out. I told her what had happened and how I felt so humiliated. I told her I just wanted to take my scarf off and leave. It was then that Sister M came to me and apologised for what happened earlier. She told me Sister J shouldn’t have approached me like that and coaxed me to come back to the class but my heart was already set on leaving so that’s what I did. I didn’t attend a single Islamic class at the mosque after that. By the way, I donned the hijab like this on that day.

I attended Islamic talks and lectures at the mosque after that but I refused to be around Sister J, who by the way, ironically enough no longer wears hijab today. I didn’t think much of her as person and as a religious person, honestly. She was rude and very patronising. Thank God I went on to study the Qur’an and Islam on my own after the incident because otherwise Islam wouldn’t play a big role in my life  today. Yes there are negative associations with being religious in the post-modern world. Some we have no control over such as  media manipulation but most of the time, these negative associations are caused by Muslims. Moez Masoud’s message is simple: purify your intentions. Do you really have concern for your Muslim sisters and/or brothers or are you simply projecting a ‘holier than thou’ attitude’?

Sadly I’ve met a lot of Sister J’s in my life. I believe only me and God knows what’s inside our hearts.